Marissa's Mess Script Critique

The Things I Love About the Script:

1) The best friend relationship between Marissa and Jenny. The way they told each other everything and they both wanted to experience each other's world.

2) The brotherly commitment between Jake and Trent. The way Trent in his own way takes care of his brother. The softness of Jake and the roughness of Trent.

3) The use of the word time that signals to Marissa it's time to go.

4) The way Officer Morgan calls to inform Marissa's parents on what had happened and to see if Marissa was alright.

5) The conflict in the story with Marissa trying to get home.


The Things That Could Have Been Better:

1) Marice's character could have been developed some more. I thought he would have been in the police vehicle because it was his car.

2) Who called the police? Ms. Frances -Ann Solomon spoke on it, but I mentioned that before.

3) Where was the attendant?

4) What happened in the automart? I would have loved to see Maurice's reaction because he sounds and looks in my mind as a big coward.

5) When Marissa and her dad came home to find the mother in the kitchen, I thought that the conflict could have started there between Marissa's mum and her dad that causes the resolution in the end for the mother.

6) In the crime scene chase, something is missing there that could have caused it to popped out at me. I wanted to feel for both Trent and Jake and for Marissa at the same time.

7) I felt that Marissa on arrival at home could have called her best friend to inform her about her night, and when Marissa realises that her parents are home, she rushes off the phone and pretends to be asleep.