This story takes the heartman as a Barbadian folk tale and translates it to a film story. It depicts the folk tale in which the heartman has no heart at all. Julie has worked on this script with diligence and honestly she did a good job of capturing the essence of the folk tale. I thought she used the idea of a twin to identify two different worlds while yet establishing this comminality between them.
The story starts out with a flashback of a bloody knife in Humphrey Robinson's hand. The police caught him and he is arrested. Hunter Robinson a mathematics teacher at Lodge school gives his students a maths problem in the next scene. Following is his twin brother Humphrey Robinson, who is a doctor at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Humphrey is monitoring a patient's heart and his wife Michelle calls and asks him to pick up the children. He then leaves the hospital to for his children who go to school at the Lodge school. Humphrey picked up his two daughters, Samantha and Luanna and went to the school hall for his son Ramiah who was waiting for him there. He runs into his twin brother Hunter. They talk for a short bit and then Humphrey leaves with Ramiah, taking him and his daughters home.
Then Hunter begins his afterschool classes giving the students the answer to the problem he gave earlier during the day. Classes are over and Hunter and the children leave the school.
The next morning a news report came over that Dwayne Husbands, a thirteen year old student at the Lodge school was missing. When Hunter arrived at school he was questioned by the principal about Dwayne Husbands. Two days later, students discovered a body in the nearby cane fields and then police are brought in who questioned Hunter as well. His brother Humphrey is shocked and gives Hunter a call. Hunter prepares his lessons for the next day. While going to his car he observes Tony Boyce waiting. Tony says he is waiting on his mother and after a call to his mother, Hunter realises that she can't come for her son and volunteers to take him to her workplace safely. Tony is snatched up by the entrance and his mouth his mouth has beeen covered by a hand. Officer Warden sees the killer and runs after him. In doing so he stumbles across the body. He calls both the ambulance and the police. Then he tells Harriet Boyce. The mother of the deceased. Police are investigation the scene in the night and calls Hunter to come down to the station. Hunter is allowed to leave and he talks to his mother when he arrives home. While on the phone with his mother Humphrey takes a call on the other line and speaks to his brother for a short while before returning to his mother. In the morning of the next day, Hunter hears a news report saying that he is the number one suspect regarding the murders of the two boys. He calls in sick and the Principal wishes him a speedy recovery.
Hunter's lawyer and good friend Stephe Rowe heard the news and gives Hunter a call. Humphrey is the heartman and plans another attack on Sheldon Norris. Sheldon escapes seeing Humphrey's face. Sheldon ran home and told his mother that his school teacher Hunter tried to kill him. His mother Shirley Norris immidiately calls the police. Police rush over to Hunter's house and make an arrest.
Another news report comes on reporting that Hunter Robinson is the heartman. Michelle and Humphrey are having a conversation about Hunter being the killer. Humphrey picks up the phone and calls his mother. They speak and the conversation ends disturbed for both parties. Hunter is in the questioning room with Stephen. Hunter reveals that it could be his twin brother framing him for the murders of these boys........ unfinished
Good points about the story
- It can be followed
- There are many characters
- Great details in the story (fine details, imagery)
- There are many comedic elements
- Improvement on the last script
- It is a wonderful way to tell the folk tale
Needs Improving
- Dialogue needs rethinking in some instances
- Character names need rethinking
- Humphrey as the killer is revealed to early
- The story about the killing of the father needs reworking
- What is the real motivation of the heartman?
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