What Worked:
Characters were well built
Story was very tight and fluid.
Very good introduction.
Scenery is well portrayed
What did not Work:
1.) In parts of your script you have "INT- Radio" that should be expanded more, that is, you are not sure where the interior of the place it is. Be it the interior of the a bedroom - radio etc
2.) Why does the heart man leave the heart on the victim's chest. What is the motive? After stalking prey for such a long time a serial killer like to have his trophies about him to remind him of other killings.
3.) You need to find out where your "moment" is, that is, where you want the big reveal to be. With pages 24, she talks about Hunter to Humphrey as if she loves Hunter more. Even if so, she would not reveal that to Humphrey, because a mother's love us unconditional.
4.) Also, coming down to the end of the monologue, she mentions that the person doing it would have to be a doctor, and that kinda gives it away.
5.) Coming down to the end of the piece you talk about the father, but there is no mention of him before hand. He is dropped there. You should expand on him some more.
6.) Some parts of the script were a little too narrative instead of it being action or movement in the script. For example in page 22, "their voices become loud noises in Hunter's ears".
7.) Also remember to proof read when you can to avoid grammatical errors
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Lost Hearts of Brighter Hopes Script Critique
The things that I like:
1) The plot of the story. The twist that it gave, where Kimberly was the heart woman all along, while everyone thought and still thinks it is a man.
2) The development of the characters.
3) Establishing the suspense in the script from early.
4) The cleverness of Kimberly.
5) The scene outside and inside the classroom.
6) The scene on the cart road between Kimberly and Mr. Niles.
The things that could have been better:
1) Where did the neighbours come from? Are they her neighbours? One of them would have known something was up with her because she lives by herself. In Barbados, when you think your neighbours don't know anything, they usually know more than you think. Didn't someone saw her digging holes in the back of her shack? Didn't they smell a stench? The neighbours were only mentioned at the beginning and no other place else. Not even in the end. Malicious neighbours would have bound to know that she got back in with a man with her.
2) EXT. SCHOOL YARD - MIDDAY page 3
*Mid day* is one word *Midday*
I would have like to see the reaction of the children, Henderson and Kimberly, after she gave him the slap.
3) There was no prove that Kimberly ever spoke to her father after school was over. So Kimberly telling Mr. Niles that her dad cannot come for her was weird. You get the feeling something was fishy at this part of the script.
4) What was also fishy about this, was the fact that she went to Mr. Niles. In 2009, I don't think any adolescent would be going to a teacher to take them home. That part needs to be developed.
5) What would have prompt her to go to Mr. Niles in the first place? And what would have prompt him to willing take her home? In 2009, Mr. Niles a teacher does not has a car? I think this has to be developed. What kind of teacher is Mr. Niles? What is his personality? How is his living? What is his status? Is he married, have children, engaged or has a girlfriend?
6) When Kimberly goes to Mr. Niles, have him doing something that would have caused him to snapped, and then glancing at her quickly to realise it is her, so that he begins to have a softer tone.
7) When Kimberly comes out with Mr. Niles, to take her home, kissing noises from Henderson and the other boys could be coming from them, that would have caused Kimberly to get upset. This would have been her motive to do what she did. Also, in order for all this to happen, then the boys would still have to be around. (Obviously they wouldn't have left already)
8) Where is Kimberly's and Mr. Niles's possessions? Do they leave it in the class? Because when they dance, I would have imagine that he would have put down his briefcase, if he has one.
9) The scene needs to be developed between Kimberly and Mr. Niles.
10) The Yellow Bird song could be Kimberly's trigger.
11) Also, how did they hear the song to begin with? I know that they heard it because she was singing it, but there is no prove as to how they hear it. I got the impression from reading the script that nothing was on that cart road. Just canes and bush, so you would have to state this, to show the distance of the walk.
12) There were also some grammatical errors.
13) What is the resolution? Is Kimberly ever caught?
14) Henderson's character could have been developed some more. What was the relationship between him and Kimberly?
1) The plot of the story. The twist that it gave, where Kimberly was the heart woman all along, while everyone thought and still thinks it is a man.
2) The development of the characters.
3) Establishing the suspense in the script from early.
4) The cleverness of Kimberly.
5) The scene outside and inside the classroom.
6) The scene on the cart road between Kimberly and Mr. Niles.
The things that could have been better:
1) Where did the neighbours come from? Are they her neighbours? One of them would have known something was up with her because she lives by herself. In Barbados, when you think your neighbours don't know anything, they usually know more than you think. Didn't someone saw her digging holes in the back of her shack? Didn't they smell a stench? The neighbours were only mentioned at the beginning and no other place else. Not even in the end. Malicious neighbours would have bound to know that she got back in with a man with her.
2) EXT. SCHOOL YARD - MIDDAY page 3
*Mid day* is one word *Midday*
I would have like to see the reaction of the children, Henderson and Kimberly, after she gave him the slap.
3) There was no prove that Kimberly ever spoke to her father after school was over. So Kimberly telling Mr. Niles that her dad cannot come for her was weird. You get the feeling something was fishy at this part of the script.
4) What was also fishy about this, was the fact that she went to Mr. Niles. In 2009, I don't think any adolescent would be going to a teacher to take them home. That part needs to be developed.
5) What would have prompt her to go to Mr. Niles in the first place? And what would have prompt him to willing take her home? In 2009, Mr. Niles a teacher does not has a car? I think this has to be developed. What kind of teacher is Mr. Niles? What is his personality? How is his living? What is his status? Is he married, have children, engaged or has a girlfriend?
6) When Kimberly goes to Mr. Niles, have him doing something that would have caused him to snapped, and then glancing at her quickly to realise it is her, so that he begins to have a softer tone.
7) When Kimberly comes out with Mr. Niles, to take her home, kissing noises from Henderson and the other boys could be coming from them, that would have caused Kimberly to get upset. This would have been her motive to do what she did. Also, in order for all this to happen, then the boys would still have to be around. (Obviously they wouldn't have left already)
8) Where is Kimberly's and Mr. Niles's possessions? Do they leave it in the class? Because when they dance, I would have imagine that he would have put down his briefcase, if he has one.
9) The scene needs to be developed between Kimberly and Mr. Niles.
10) The Yellow Bird song could be Kimberly's trigger.
11) Also, how did they hear the song to begin with? I know that they heard it because she was singing it, but there is no prove as to how they hear it. I got the impression from reading the script that nothing was on that cart road. Just canes and bush, so you would have to state this, to show the distance of the walk.
12) There were also some grammatical errors.
13) What is the resolution? Is Kimberly ever caught?
14) Henderson's character could have been developed some more. What was the relationship between him and Kimberly?
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Marissa's Mess Climax Alternative
Officer Morgan is on his way to the gas station for his break but is stuck behind two vehicles which are moving slowly. Annoyed he turns on his sirens so that he can easily pass them.
At the gas station, robbery is in progress and robbers hearing sirens in the distance use the taxi as a get away car.
Officer Morgan turns the corner as they drive away. Maurice the taxi driver runs towards the police car ranting and waving his arms frantically letting offider morgan know that his cab has been stolen and Marissa is inside.
Officer Morgan pursues the vehicle.
Vehicle stops and there is a stand off.
Shot is fired and robber is down.
Other robber is apprehended and Marissa is saved
MAurice is in another police car on his way to the scene. He is ranting on about his car, his wife and Marissa and he is clutching a gas container
Maurice arrives at the scene more concerned about his vehicle than Marissa, he runs to his taxi with the gas can and hugs and kisses his car. He fills it with gas and inspects it from head to toe. He is interupted by a call from his wife who is very perturbed that he is not home yet and chews his ear off.
Marissa it taken home
Her dad checks in on her as she pretends to sleep. He goes down stairs to get a cup of coffee and watches the news.
A report come over about the robbery and he is engaged in the tv.
the phone rings, It is officer morgan doing a follow up call, making sure Marissa is ok.
Her father is shocked and angry
Marissa is summond and he raked over the coal by her dad
Her mom steps in and finally stands up to her husband on Marissa's behalf
Her dad realises that he is partly to blame
The family comes to a compromise
Marissa thinks she has escaped punishment and heads to her room
Her dad stops her on the steps and lets her know that she is grounded.
At the gas station, robbery is in progress and robbers hearing sirens in the distance use the taxi as a get away car.
Officer Morgan turns the corner as they drive away. Maurice the taxi driver runs towards the police car ranting and waving his arms frantically letting offider morgan know that his cab has been stolen and Marissa is inside.
Officer Morgan pursues the vehicle.
Vehicle stops and there is a stand off.
Shot is fired and robber is down.
Other robber is apprehended and Marissa is saved
MAurice is in another police car on his way to the scene. He is ranting on about his car, his wife and Marissa and he is clutching a gas container
Maurice arrives at the scene more concerned about his vehicle than Marissa, he runs to his taxi with the gas can and hugs and kisses his car. He fills it with gas and inspects it from head to toe. He is interupted by a call from his wife who is very perturbed that he is not home yet and chews his ear off.
Marissa it taken home
Her dad checks in on her as she pretends to sleep. He goes down stairs to get a cup of coffee and watches the news.
A report come over about the robbery and he is engaged in the tv.
the phone rings, It is officer morgan doing a follow up call, making sure Marissa is ok.
Her father is shocked and angry
Marissa is summond and he raked over the coal by her dad
Her mom steps in and finally stands up to her husband on Marissa's behalf
Her dad realises that he is partly to blame
The family comes to a compromise
Marissa thinks she has escaped punishment and heads to her room
Her dad stops her on the steps and lets her know that she is grounded.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Marissa's Mess Critique
It is a good story. I like the twist in the middle of the story. I like the way the characters have developed and I can see the dialogue unfolding when it is scripted. However, I had enough time to read the treatment and there are areas that need to be corrected. I know it was rushed, but I am still going to state them, so that the errors would not occur in the script.
How does David get Marissa's number? It is not stated here when Marissa's dad is being ignored by her. When she is talking to David at school, you have to see the number being distributed. Next, again how can David call Marissa when he was not given her number? Also, how does he know where Marissa lives? In addition, where did he get the car from? Does he has license? How old is he? How old is Marissa? If they are underage, how can they get into a night club; furthermore, to be buying and drinking alcohol?
How can Trent take out a gun at a closed bar? The bar is stated closed, not the building. During this time, one gun is stated here, but further in the treatment, they seem to have been two guns. Where did the other gun come from?
When Maurice pulls into the gas station, Marissa obviously is in the back of the car and the attendant is there, so when Maurice looks into his wallet he tells "her" he is going to the ATM. Who is her? Who does the her refers to?
When the gas station is stick up by Trent and his brother Jake, aren't there other people both inside and outside? Where is the gas station attendant? Who called the police? Is Marissa blind? For somone who is impatient to get home, she should have been watching Maurice all this time to see what was going on. There are see through glass windows in the automart. Maybe she called the police, and that's how they knew she was in danger from the beginning.
The INT and EXT are mixed up. They can be connected if the samething is happening in the same area with other characters. For instance, INT. TAXI - NIGHT- Marissa being in the car and Trent and his brother Jake coming into the car all in the same place. In this case, the taxi. It has INT. TAXI - NIGHT - Marissa in the car... and EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT - Trent and Jake getting into the car... They both can connect because everything is happening in the car. Then the supporting details can indicate that they are driving out off the gas station.
How did the police driving the vehicle knew everything about Maurice and parking tickets. This is Barbados, not realistic. The police is on a chase, they do not have any time to check for all of that. Did they call back to the station for the other policemen to make a scan for them? Did the police from the police station alert them on this instead? How many policemen are in the vehicle? If there are only one police vehicle, how could they have set up a road block? How many police vehicles are they? How far does Trent and Jake get, because I thought this taxi desperately needed gas? So, realistically they couldn't have driven very far because this would mean that Maurice could have dropped home Marissa first and save her the headache. So maybe the dialogue can be included that Marissa is realising this for herself. That she could have been taken home to begin with. All in the comedy and seriousness of it.
If action is happening in the road between two sides, then there cannot be an INT and definitely cannot be INT. TAXI - NIGHT because the police is not in the taxi and in this case Trent, Jake and Marissa are not in the taxi. So it should be, EXT. ROAD - NIGHT or the name of the road.
Officer Morgan explains who he is in the treatment. Who he is like who? Obviously, Trent and the others can see he is a policeman. Was Officer Morgan like Trent? Police rush in and arrest Trent...cannot be EXT. POLICE VEHICLE - NIGHT. It has to be EXT. ROAD - NIGHT because again, everything is happening in the road even though there are outside the police vehicle.
"Other police arrive on the scene." I thought the other policemen were already there. "She quickly gave her statement and she was taken home." Who is Marissa giving her statement to? Marissa is giving her statement and no sign of reporters are mention? How do they report on the matter and can show footage on what happened when they were not there? Cameras were not mentioned. Usually when police is taking a statement from you; especially, something as serious as this, they normally take some sort of contact. Either telephone numbers, cellphone numbers, addresses or all. This was not mentioned. Marissa is underaged so the officer should have insisted that he sees her parents just to make sure she was dropped off at the right address; especially, with something so serious as this. There should have been some sort of speculation as to why an underaged girl is out on the streets so late in the night by herself.
When Marissa's mother closes Marissa's bedroom door the scene becomes EXT. MARISSA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT because the focus was the bedroom, and the mother is talking to the father outside Marissa's bedroom. Unless you wanted to put, INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT.
The last two scenes could have been done this way because Marissa's mum and dad just come home, it is late and they might be tired especially waiting in the traffic at that time in the morning so long.
INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Marissa's mother goes to the master bedroom bathroom. Erskine lies on the bed. He removes the remote control from the top of the draw next to the bed. He turns the television on. He sits up and stares with his mouth open, drop to the bed.
INT. TELEVISION - NIGHT
News report is on about a robbery. In the report Marissa's name is mentioned as the hostage.
INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Erskine, Marissa's father belts out Marissa's name from the bedroom.
INT. MARISSA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Marissa lies and hears her father yelling her name. She pulls the sheets over her head. She knows her parents are coming any second. She knows her charade has ended.
The ending could have been that the officer waits and Marissa's parents comes home to find the officer and he explains ignorantly what happened to their daughter. Marissa's dad thanks the officer and they all go inside. Marissa's dad and mum quarrels with her and she is grounded for the rest of the term.
How does David get Marissa's number? It is not stated here when Marissa's dad is being ignored by her. When she is talking to David at school, you have to see the number being distributed. Next, again how can David call Marissa when he was not given her number? Also, how does he know where Marissa lives? In addition, where did he get the car from? Does he has license? How old is he? How old is Marissa? If they are underage, how can they get into a night club; furthermore, to be buying and drinking alcohol?
How can Trent take out a gun at a closed bar? The bar is stated closed, not the building. During this time, one gun is stated here, but further in the treatment, they seem to have been two guns. Where did the other gun come from?
When Maurice pulls into the gas station, Marissa obviously is in the back of the car and the attendant is there, so when Maurice looks into his wallet he tells "her" he is going to the ATM. Who is her? Who does the her refers to?
When the gas station is stick up by Trent and his brother Jake, aren't there other people both inside and outside? Where is the gas station attendant? Who called the police? Is Marissa blind? For somone who is impatient to get home, she should have been watching Maurice all this time to see what was going on. There are see through glass windows in the automart. Maybe she called the police, and that's how they knew she was in danger from the beginning.
The INT and EXT are mixed up. They can be connected if the samething is happening in the same area with other characters. For instance, INT. TAXI - NIGHT- Marissa being in the car and Trent and his brother Jake coming into the car all in the same place. In this case, the taxi. It has INT. TAXI - NIGHT - Marissa in the car... and EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT - Trent and Jake getting into the car... They both can connect because everything is happening in the car. Then the supporting details can indicate that they are driving out off the gas station.
How did the police driving the vehicle knew everything about Maurice and parking tickets. This is Barbados, not realistic. The police is on a chase, they do not have any time to check for all of that. Did they call back to the station for the other policemen to make a scan for them? Did the police from the police station alert them on this instead? How many policemen are in the vehicle? If there are only one police vehicle, how could they have set up a road block? How many police vehicles are they? How far does Trent and Jake get, because I thought this taxi desperately needed gas? So, realistically they couldn't have driven very far because this would mean that Maurice could have dropped home Marissa first and save her the headache. So maybe the dialogue can be included that Marissa is realising this for herself. That she could have been taken home to begin with. All in the comedy and seriousness of it.
If action is happening in the road between two sides, then there cannot be an INT and definitely cannot be INT. TAXI - NIGHT because the police is not in the taxi and in this case Trent, Jake and Marissa are not in the taxi. So it should be, EXT. ROAD - NIGHT or the name of the road.
Officer Morgan explains who he is in the treatment. Who he is like who? Obviously, Trent and the others can see he is a policeman. Was Officer Morgan like Trent? Police rush in and arrest Trent...cannot be EXT. POLICE VEHICLE - NIGHT. It has to be EXT. ROAD - NIGHT because again, everything is happening in the road even though there are outside the police vehicle.
"Other police arrive on the scene." I thought the other policemen were already there. "She quickly gave her statement and she was taken home." Who is Marissa giving her statement to? Marissa is giving her statement and no sign of reporters are mention? How do they report on the matter and can show footage on what happened when they were not there? Cameras were not mentioned. Usually when police is taking a statement from you; especially, something as serious as this, they normally take some sort of contact. Either telephone numbers, cellphone numbers, addresses or all. This was not mentioned. Marissa is underaged so the officer should have insisted that he sees her parents just to make sure she was dropped off at the right address; especially, with something so serious as this. There should have been some sort of speculation as to why an underaged girl is out on the streets so late in the night by herself.
When Marissa's mother closes Marissa's bedroom door the scene becomes EXT. MARISSA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT because the focus was the bedroom, and the mother is talking to the father outside Marissa's bedroom. Unless you wanted to put, INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT.
The last two scenes could have been done this way because Marissa's mum and dad just come home, it is late and they might be tired especially waiting in the traffic at that time in the morning so long.
INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Marissa's mother goes to the master bedroom bathroom. Erskine lies on the bed. He removes the remote control from the top of the draw next to the bed. He turns the television on. He sits up and stares with his mouth open, drop to the bed.
INT. TELEVISION - NIGHT
News report is on about a robbery. In the report Marissa's name is mentioned as the hostage.
INT. PARENT'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Erskine, Marissa's father belts out Marissa's name from the bedroom.
INT. MARISSA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Marissa lies and hears her father yelling her name. She pulls the sheets over her head. She knows her parents are coming any second. She knows her charade has ended.
The ending could have been that the officer waits and Marissa's parents comes home to find the officer and he explains ignorantly what happened to their daughter. Marissa's dad thanks the officer and they all go inside. Marissa's dad and mum quarrels with her and she is grounded for the rest of the term.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I am so tired....
I have new ideas and I woke up this morning to update what I had written two days ago. I will bring to class what we would have worked on for our treatment. The story has a BIG twist at the end....Hope you guys will enjoy it....hehehehe.....
But I am so tired.....Don't you guys feel drained.....my goodness!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Lost Hearts of Brighter Hopes [FINAL VERSION]
Kimberly Waithe, was standing at the bus stop waiting on her transportation to school. It was still early out and drew could still be seen on a plant by a nearby garden. She rechecked her bag to make sure she had all the essentials for her day and when she was satisfied, she began to over hear a conversation between two women at the bus stop.
“Yes girl! Heartman strikes again!”
“when?!”
“You ain got a Nation?! It all over de place chile! Dis body was found in Saint Andrew in a pig farm! Pigs chew up de body clean, but left de head! Unfortunately nuh body ain had no dental work fuh de man dat dem fin’”
Kimberly couldn’t help but listen in, but who were they talking about? She decided to nosey in a bit more…
“umm excuse me – Miss?..”
“yes dear?”
“I couldn’t help but hear you talking – would you be so kind as to tell me who is this “Heartman?”
“Oh! I would love to dear! But nobody knows who this man is, where he live or why de hell he doing wuh he doing?! All I gine tell you, is to keep yuh self ta yaself.”
Kimberly was in shock of what she was hearing. When she arrived at school, the same thing occurred, everyone was talking about the heart man’s latest killings. By lunch time everyone was standing or sitting around a tree with benches, and the rumor of the heartman had escalated. One boy in particular named Henderson, was in the center of the conversation, he was more pumped up than the rest of the students.
“yes man! I know what I see last week! Mr. Niles man!”
“You sure bout dis?” chimed another boy.
“I know what I see Kristopher! Mr Niles walk home that little boy from first form! And you know what happen?!”
Everyone shrugged.
“EXACTLY!” Henderson hollered.
“Dah lil boy gone missing! Nobody know where he is, de main see he ain days! He ain come school or nain so. An’ every time I try to ask Mr. Niles ‘bout it, he does get almost pale den! He is de heartman I telling you!”
“That is not so Henderson” Everyone turned around to see little framed Kimberly in the back of the small gathering.
“Who talking to you?!”
“I am! And you should not be going around spreading rumors about something you know nothing about!”
“shut up Kimberly! Ya poor grate shyte”
The children giggled, but Kimberly pressed on.
“I will not! Mr Niles is a nice man! And highly intelligent and a gentleman! He would never do what you said he did! But you ain know nuttin!”
Henderson stepped forward and walked up to Kimberly in that instant.
“ok then, let’s talk about something I DO know. What about what you told me about your daddy huh ? kim?”
“Don’t do it Henderson!”
“why not?, I tink everyone should about how he used to beat you bout and slam you head pon walls and frying pans – “
“shut up!”
“why?! Because you can’t cook!”
He laughed so hard he snorted. Kimberly was filled with rage and all she could do was leave an imprint on the side of his face with her palm. She turned away quickly and ran inside the class room with eyes burning. Mr Niles, who was sitting down behind his desk looked up the same time,
“Hey Kim, what happen? You ok?”
“Not really, would you mind if I stood inside today? Don’t really feel much like outside”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“No sir, I would rather read if that’s ok with you.”
He nodded and continued with what he was doing. Kimberly sank into her seat at the back of the class, trying to contain herself. She took her biology book and started to make some notes, some footsteps came up behind her and an Egyptian book on rituals was placed on her desk. She looked up to see Mr Niles smiling down on her.
“If its recreational reading you want, this is one of my favorites.”
And he went back to his desk. Kimberly then began to watch his antics as he sat there in his chair, how he moved, very poised and very intense. She got so caught up in watching him that time just slipped away and soon lunch was over.
The children came streaming in the room, filling up the seats and they started to get ready for Mr. Niles’ class. Kimberly liked the class, not only because she was smitten with her teacher, but it was because she loved Maths. Logic was her thing and almost anything in the class you threw at her, she got right.
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Henderson head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong. You were just like the rest. Just like my father, just like Henderson. No one wants to love me.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“No no I’m not! You can be a sweet girl – “
Kimberly bent down over Mr. Niles and covered his mouth with her hand.
“shhhh, im talking. And of course you are! My father used to beat on me over and over, till my eyes were swollen shut! And for no reason at all. Henderson – “
She sighed,
“Henderson, Henderson, Henderson – one of the cutest boys in the school. Popular! Came to me for help on an assignment. He played me, cuz that’s all he wanted, and when I found out it was too late! He told everybody about what I told him about my father. Smug little fucker.”
Mr. Niles began to speak again,
“I’m sor-“
“and you!, “ Kimberly screamed
“You were the worst! You led me on! I pined for you all day in class! Couldn’t you tell? Pushed up in class to get all the work right.”
Mr. Niles begins to whimper as his body goes limp and weary. Kimberly looks down on him as if her were a scared puppy.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with ether. Someething else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze you. Don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
“Yes girl! Heartman strikes again!”
“when?!”
“You ain got a Nation?! It all over de place chile! Dis body was found in Saint Andrew in a pig farm! Pigs chew up de body clean, but left de head! Unfortunately nuh body ain had no dental work fuh de man dat dem fin’”
Kimberly couldn’t help but listen in, but who were they talking about? She decided to nosey in a bit more…
“umm excuse me – Miss?..”
“yes dear?”
“I couldn’t help but hear you talking – would you be so kind as to tell me who is this “Heartman?”
“Oh! I would love to dear! But nobody knows who this man is, where he live or why de hell he doing wuh he doing?! All I gine tell you, is to keep yuh self ta yaself.”
Kimberly was in shock of what she was hearing. When she arrived at school, the same thing occurred, everyone was talking about the heart man’s latest killings. By lunch time everyone was standing or sitting around a tree with benches, and the rumor of the heartman had escalated. One boy in particular named Henderson, was in the center of the conversation, he was more pumped up than the rest of the students.
“yes man! I know what I see last week! Mr. Niles man!”
“You sure bout dis?” chimed another boy.
“I know what I see Kristopher! Mr Niles walk home that little boy from first form! And you know what happen?!”
Everyone shrugged.
“EXACTLY!” Henderson hollered.
“Dah lil boy gone missing! Nobody know where he is, de main see he ain days! He ain come school or nain so. An’ every time I try to ask Mr. Niles ‘bout it, he does get almost pale den! He is de heartman I telling you!”
“That is not so Henderson” Everyone turned around to see little framed Kimberly in the back of the small gathering.
“Who talking to you?!”
“I am! And you should not be going around spreading rumors about something you know nothing about!”
“shut up Kimberly! Ya poor grate shyte”
The children giggled, but Kimberly pressed on.
“I will not! Mr Niles is a nice man! And highly intelligent and a gentleman! He would never do what you said he did! But you ain know nuttin!”
Henderson stepped forward and walked up to Kimberly in that instant.
“ok then, let’s talk about something I DO know. What about what you told me about your daddy huh ? kim?”
“Don’t do it Henderson!”
“why not?, I tink everyone should about how he used to beat you bout and slam you head pon walls and frying pans – “
“shut up!”
“why?! Because you can’t cook!”
He laughed so hard he snorted. Kimberly was filled with rage and all she could do was leave an imprint on the side of his face with her palm. She turned away quickly and ran inside the class room with eyes burning. Mr Niles, who was sitting down behind his desk looked up the same time,
“Hey Kim, what happen? You ok?”
“Not really, would you mind if I stood inside today? Don’t really feel much like outside”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“No sir, I would rather read if that’s ok with you.”
He nodded and continued with what he was doing. Kimberly sank into her seat at the back of the class, trying to contain herself. She took her biology book and started to make some notes, some footsteps came up behind her and an Egyptian book on rituals was placed on her desk. She looked up to see Mr Niles smiling down on her.
“If its recreational reading you want, this is one of my favorites.”
And he went back to his desk. Kimberly then began to watch his antics as he sat there in his chair, how he moved, very poised and very intense. She got so caught up in watching him that time just slipped away and soon lunch was over.
The children came streaming in the room, filling up the seats and they started to get ready for Mr. Niles’ class. Kimberly liked the class, not only because she was smitten with her teacher, but it was because she loved Maths. Logic was her thing and almost anything in the class you threw at her, she got right.
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Henderson head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong. You were just like the rest. Just like my father, just like Henderson. No one wants to love me.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“No no I’m not! You can be a sweet girl – “
Kimberly bent down over Mr. Niles and covered his mouth with her hand.
“shhhh, im talking. And of course you are! My father used to beat on me over and over, till my eyes were swollen shut! And for no reason at all. Henderson – “
She sighed,
“Henderson, Henderson, Henderson – one of the cutest boys in the school. Popular! Came to me for help on an assignment. He played me, cuz that’s all he wanted, and when I found out it was too late! He told everybody about what I told him about my father. Smug little fucker.”
Mr. Niles began to speak again,
“I’m sor-“
“and you!, “ Kimberly screamed
“You were the worst! You led me on! I pined for you all day in class! Couldn’t you tell? Pushed up in class to get all the work right.”
Mr. Niles begins to whimper as his body goes limp and weary. Kimberly looks down on him as if her were a scared puppy.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with ether. Someething else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze you. Don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Treatment - The Heart Man
Beginning:
Flashback of the ending of the story
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
A bloody butchered knife is caught in Humphrey's right hand. Humphrey is handcuffed by the police. Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry got out of the police vehicle as quickly as they can and rushed to Humphrey with their guns in their hands. Humphrey is pushed into the polices' vehicle.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY
Hunter is teaching Mathematics in the classroom. He is writing mathematics problems on the board. Everyone is paying attention. Chris and Tito look at each other. Hunter asks the students in the class the mathematical question. They look around at each other as Hunter stares at them. Chris incorrectly responds. Hunter responds. Tito also responds incorrectly. Hunter responds to the students in a jovial way. He informs them of lessons after school. The students sigh in regret.
EXT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - DAY
Establishing shot of building.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - DAY
Humphrey is monitoring Susan McCastie's heart. His cellphone immediately rings. It is his wife Michelle.
INT. LAW FIRM - DAY
Michelle is talking to her husband Humphrey after calling him.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
Humphrey allows Nurse Pace to know he is leaving the hospital early. Nurse Pace responds to him.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey gets out of his car. His two daughters wait in the car until he comes back. Humphrey walks to the school hall.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL HALL - AFTERNOON
His son is waiting in the school hall. Immediately as Humphrey is approaching the school hall, he runs into his twin brother Hunter. Hunter and Humphrey talk to each other for awhile. Hunter acknowledges to Humphrey he has to go to his after school lessons.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey and his son approaches his car. Humphrey looks back at his brother as he walks to his car.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey and his son get into the car. Humphrey drives off and takes his children home.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - EVENING
Hunter gets into his car and leaves.
EXT. CANE FIELDS - EVENING
The Heart Man is seen from behind. He grabs Dwayne Husbands and kills him from behind. He carefully cuts open his chest and takes his heart out. He pulls Dwayne Husbands into the middle of the cane field and leaves Dwayne's heart resting on his chest.
Middle:
INT. RADIO - MORNING
News reports is heard on the radio that 13 year old Dwayne Husbands, student from the Lodge school appeared missing. He was last seen yesterday by his peers and teachers. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Dwayne Husbands is kindly ask to locate the nearest police station.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - MORNING
Hunter hears the news report about his student Dwayne Husbands on the radio.
INT. PRINCIPAL OFFICE - MORNING
Principal Alleyne questions Hunter on the missing of his student. Hunter informs the principal that his students left before he did, and he did not hear or see anything strange.
EXT. THE PLAYING FIELD - MORNING
Two days later, students of the Lodge school found a dead body in the nearby cane fields. They were playing when they smelt a terrible odor. Police comes on the scene and investigates the body. The dead body was identified as Dwayne Husbands who was missing three days ago. Hunter is questioned by the police.
INT. RADIO - AFTERNOON
News report goes out that Dwayne Husbands who appeared missing three days ago is dead. He was found with his chest neatly cut open and his heart rested on top of his chest. His body also had severe stab wounds in the back and head.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
Humphrey hears the news report. Humphrey is questioned by Nurse Pace. Humphrey calls his brother Hunter.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL STAFFROOM - AFTERNOON
The staffroom telephone rings. Hunter answers it. It is his twin brother Humphrey. Hunter and Humphrey converse.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL STAFFROOM - EVENING
Hunter stays back at school to plan his lessons for the next day.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - EVENING
As Hunter was about to get into his car, he sees Tony Boyce waiting for his parents. He goes over to him to question him. Hunter calls Tony's mother, Harriet Boyce.
INT. HARRIET'S OFFICE - EVENING
Harriet's telephone rings. Hunter is on the other line. They both converse and decides that Hunter will drop him off at her workplace.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - EVENING
Hunter and Tony get into the car. Hunter nods to Guard Kevin.
INT. GUARD HUT - EVENING
Guard Kevin nods back.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - EVENING
Hunter drives off and drops off Tony in front of his mother's workplace.
EXT. HARRIET'S WORKPLACE - EVENING
Tony is grabbed outside the entrance door.
EXT. PARKING LOT - EVENING
He is murdered. His body is found dead behind the parking lot.
INT. SECURITY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Officer Warden calls the police.
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
The telephone rings. Lieutenant Barry answers the phone. He is inform on the murder.
INT. HARRIET'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Officer Warden knocks on Harriet's door. She is inform on her son's death.
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Police investigate the scene. Hunter is called in to go to the station.
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry question Hunter on the murder of Tony. He leaves the station after questioning.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - NIGHT
Hunter is talking to his mother. His brother Humphrey calls him while he is still talking to his mother. He ends the call with Humphrey and continue to talk with his mum.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter reports sick for work.
INT. RADIO & TELEVISION - MORNING
News report comes in that another Lodge school student was murdered yesterday. Tony Boyce was last seen with his teacher, Hunter Robinson. Hunter Robinson is the number one suspect. Police is still carrying out investigations.
INT. STEPHEN'S HOME - MORNING
Shocking Stephen picks up his telephone to call Hunter.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter hesitantly answers his telephone. Hunter and Stephen converse.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - EVENING
Humphrey's children are already home. Wife Michelle took the children home.
EXT. CANE FIELDS - EVENING
Humphrey waits among the fields as Sheldon Norris pass. Humphrey grabs the young lad. Sheldon elbows Humphrey in his lower body and immediately pulls away. He looks back and sees Humphrey's face. He runs home.
INT. SHIRLEY'S HOME - EVENING
Sheldon Norris goes home and tells his mother, Shirley Norris what had happened. He tells his mom it was Hunter who grabbed him. She reports the incident to the police.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - EVENING
Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry rush to Hunter and handcuff him. Shocking Hunter is pushed into the police vehicle.
INT. RADIO - NIGHT
News report comes through that police have made an arrest. Hunter Robinson is the Heart Man. He attacked Sheldon Norris, another student from the Lodge school, but he fail to kill. Sheldon Norris was able to pull himself away and saw his attacker's face. He identified the attacker as his teacher, Hunter Robinson.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - NIGHT
Humphrey's wife Michelle overreacts. Suspicious Humphrey is in physical pain, but doesn't show it. He calls his mother.
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - NIGHT
Mummy Robinson's telephone rings. It is Humphrey. They both converse on Hunter's situation. Mummy Robinson becomes suspicious.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - NIGHT
Disturbed Humphrey puts down the telephone in his mother's ears.
INT. QUESTIONING ROOM - NIGHT
Hunter's lawyer questions him further. They converse. Stephen leaves Hunter.
INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT
Hunter patiently awaits bail.
INT. JAIL CELL - MORNING
Hunter is released on bail.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
Hunter returns home.
End:
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter goes into his home and finds his twin brother Humphrey in his house. Hunter asks Humphrey questions. Humphrey does not respond. Humphrey pulls a butcher knife from behind him. Hunter becomes scared. Hunter's cell phone lies in his pocket. Hunter presses the last dial call on his cellular phone. Hunter's last dial on cell phone calls Stephen.
INT. STEPHEN'S HOME - MORNING
Stephen listens while he is calling the police. He leaves his house.
INT. STEPHEN'S CAR - MORNING
Stephen drives quickly to the police station.
INT. POLICE VEHICLE - MORNING
Lieutenant Barry, Sergeant Larry and Stephen is in the vehicle. Lieutenant Barry drives quickly to Hunter's house.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter and Humphrey converse. Humphrey jumps in fright when he hears Tito and Chris' knock on the door. Hunter realises it is his students Chris and Tito outside his front door. Hunter tries shouting to his students. Humphrey prevents Hunter by rushing at him with the butcher knife and stabbing him in the chest with it. Hunter quickly drops to the floor.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
Humphrey quickly opens the door and rushes to Tito and Chris. Chris stumbles off the first step. Tito is stabbed in his right foot. Lieutenant Barry, Sergeant Larry and Stephen arrive and find Humphrey with the butcher knife in his right hand. Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry rush quickly to Humphrey to arrest him. The ambulance arrives. The ambulance tends to Tito and Chris.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Stephen rushes into Hunter's home to rescue him. The ambulance tends to Hunter.
INT. RADIO & TELEVISION - MORNING
News report goes out that Humphrey, Hunter's identical twin brother is the killer. He is the Heart Man. Hunter was stabbed in the chest, Tito in his right foot and Chris suffers severe head injury.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - MORNING
Michelle Robinson, Humphrey's wife stays in shock.
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - MORNING
Mummy Robinson stays in shock and relieve at the same time.
INT. JAIL CELL - MORNING
Michelle pays Humphrey a visit in his cell.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - MORNING
Mummy Robinson visits her son Hunter in the hospital. Hunter lies there in critical conditions. Chris Marville's parents, Patrick Marville and Sophia Marville along with Tito Mosquito's parents, Terek Mosquito and Deborah Mosquito comes to the hospital to see their children.
Three Months Later:
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter Robinson is on bed rest.
INT. MARVILLES' HOME - MORNING
Patrick and Sophia's son Chris is recovering.
INT. MOSQUITOS' HOME - MORNING
Terek and Deborah's son Tito is getting better.
INT. DODD'S PRISON - MORNING
Humphrey is charged with life in prison.
Flashback of the ending of the story
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
A bloody butchered knife is caught in Humphrey's right hand. Humphrey is handcuffed by the police. Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry got out of the police vehicle as quickly as they can and rushed to Humphrey with their guns in their hands. Humphrey is pushed into the polices' vehicle.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY
Hunter is teaching Mathematics in the classroom. He is writing mathematics problems on the board. Everyone is paying attention. Chris and Tito look at each other. Hunter asks the students in the class the mathematical question. They look around at each other as Hunter stares at them. Chris incorrectly responds. Hunter responds. Tito also responds incorrectly. Hunter responds to the students in a jovial way. He informs them of lessons after school. The students sigh in regret.
EXT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - DAY
Establishing shot of building.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - DAY
Humphrey is monitoring Susan McCastie's heart. His cellphone immediately rings. It is his wife Michelle.
INT. LAW FIRM - DAY
Michelle is talking to her husband Humphrey after calling him.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
Humphrey allows Nurse Pace to know he is leaving the hospital early. Nurse Pace responds to him.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey gets out of his car. His two daughters wait in the car until he comes back. Humphrey walks to the school hall.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL HALL - AFTERNOON
His son is waiting in the school hall. Immediately as Humphrey is approaching the school hall, he runs into his twin brother Hunter. Hunter and Humphrey talk to each other for awhile. Hunter acknowledges to Humphrey he has to go to his after school lessons.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey and his son approaches his car. Humphrey looks back at his brother as he walks to his car.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - AFTERNOON
Humphrey and his son get into the car. Humphrey drives off and takes his children home.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - EVENING
Hunter gets into his car and leaves.
EXT. CANE FIELDS - EVENING
The Heart Man is seen from behind. He grabs Dwayne Husbands and kills him from behind. He carefully cuts open his chest and takes his heart out. He pulls Dwayne Husbands into the middle of the cane field and leaves Dwayne's heart resting on his chest.
Middle:
INT. RADIO - MORNING
News reports is heard on the radio that 13 year old Dwayne Husbands, student from the Lodge school appeared missing. He was last seen yesterday by his peers and teachers. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Dwayne Husbands is kindly ask to locate the nearest police station.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - MORNING
Hunter hears the news report about his student Dwayne Husbands on the radio.
INT. PRINCIPAL OFFICE - MORNING
Principal Alleyne questions Hunter on the missing of his student. Hunter informs the principal that his students left before he did, and he did not hear or see anything strange.
EXT. THE PLAYING FIELD - MORNING
Two days later, students of the Lodge school found a dead body in the nearby cane fields. They were playing when they smelt a terrible odor. Police comes on the scene and investigates the body. The dead body was identified as Dwayne Husbands who was missing three days ago. Hunter is questioned by the police.
INT. RADIO - AFTERNOON
News report goes out that Dwayne Husbands who appeared missing three days ago is dead. He was found with his chest neatly cut open and his heart rested on top of his chest. His body also had severe stab wounds in the back and head.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - AFTERNOON
Humphrey hears the news report. Humphrey is questioned by Nurse Pace. Humphrey calls his brother Hunter.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL STAFFROOM - AFTERNOON
The staffroom telephone rings. Hunter answers it. It is his twin brother Humphrey. Hunter and Humphrey converse.
INT. LODGE SCHOOL STAFFROOM - EVENING
Hunter stays back at school to plan his lessons for the next day.
EXT. LODGE SCHOOL CAR PARK - EVENING
As Hunter was about to get into his car, he sees Tony Boyce waiting for his parents. He goes over to him to question him. Hunter calls Tony's mother, Harriet Boyce.
INT. HARRIET'S OFFICE - EVENING
Harriet's telephone rings. Hunter is on the other line. They both converse and decides that Hunter will drop him off at her workplace.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - EVENING
Hunter and Tony get into the car. Hunter nods to Guard Kevin.
INT. GUARD HUT - EVENING
Guard Kevin nods back.
INT. HUNTER'S CAR - EVENING
Hunter drives off and drops off Tony in front of his mother's workplace.
EXT. HARRIET'S WORKPLACE - EVENING
Tony is grabbed outside the entrance door.
EXT. PARKING LOT - EVENING
He is murdered. His body is found dead behind the parking lot.
INT. SECURITY'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Officer Warden calls the police.
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
The telephone rings. Lieutenant Barry answers the phone. He is inform on the murder.
INT. HARRIET'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Officer Warden knocks on Harriet's door. She is inform on her son's death.
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Police investigate the scene. Hunter is called in to go to the station.
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry question Hunter on the murder of Tony. He leaves the station after questioning.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - NIGHT
Hunter is talking to his mother. His brother Humphrey calls him while he is still talking to his mother. He ends the call with Humphrey and continue to talk with his mum.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter reports sick for work.
INT. RADIO & TELEVISION - MORNING
News report comes in that another Lodge school student was murdered yesterday. Tony Boyce was last seen with his teacher, Hunter Robinson. Hunter Robinson is the number one suspect. Police is still carrying out investigations.
INT. STEPHEN'S HOME - MORNING
Shocking Stephen picks up his telephone to call Hunter.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter hesitantly answers his telephone. Hunter and Stephen converse.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - EVENING
Humphrey's children are already home. Wife Michelle took the children home.
EXT. CANE FIELDS - EVENING
Humphrey waits among the fields as Sheldon Norris pass. Humphrey grabs the young lad. Sheldon elbows Humphrey in his lower body and immediately pulls away. He looks back and sees Humphrey's face. He runs home.
INT. SHIRLEY'S HOME - EVENING
Sheldon Norris goes home and tells his mother, Shirley Norris what had happened. He tells his mom it was Hunter who grabbed him. She reports the incident to the police.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - EVENING
Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry rush to Hunter and handcuff him. Shocking Hunter is pushed into the police vehicle.
INT. RADIO - NIGHT
News report comes through that police have made an arrest. Hunter Robinson is the Heart Man. He attacked Sheldon Norris, another student from the Lodge school, but he fail to kill. Sheldon Norris was able to pull himself away and saw his attacker's face. He identified the attacker as his teacher, Hunter Robinson.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - NIGHT
Humphrey's wife Michelle overreacts. Suspicious Humphrey is in physical pain, but doesn't show it. He calls his mother.
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - NIGHT
Mummy Robinson's telephone rings. It is Humphrey. They both converse on Hunter's situation. Mummy Robinson becomes suspicious.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - NIGHT
Disturbed Humphrey puts down the telephone in his mother's ears.
INT. QUESTIONING ROOM - NIGHT
Hunter's lawyer questions him further. They converse. Stephen leaves Hunter.
INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT
Hunter patiently awaits bail.
INT. JAIL CELL - MORNING
Hunter is released on bail.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
Hunter returns home.
End:
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter goes into his home and finds his twin brother Humphrey in his house. Hunter asks Humphrey questions. Humphrey does not respond. Humphrey pulls a butcher knife from behind him. Hunter becomes scared. Hunter's cell phone lies in his pocket. Hunter presses the last dial call on his cellular phone. Hunter's last dial on cell phone calls Stephen.
INT. STEPHEN'S HOME - MORNING
Stephen listens while he is calling the police. He leaves his house.
INT. STEPHEN'S CAR - MORNING
Stephen drives quickly to the police station.
INT. POLICE VEHICLE - MORNING
Lieutenant Barry, Sergeant Larry and Stephen is in the vehicle. Lieutenant Barry drives quickly to Hunter's house.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter and Humphrey converse. Humphrey jumps in fright when he hears Tito and Chris' knock on the door. Hunter realises it is his students Chris and Tito outside his front door. Hunter tries shouting to his students. Humphrey prevents Hunter by rushing at him with the butcher knife and stabbing him in the chest with it. Hunter quickly drops to the floor.
EXT. HUNTER'S HOUSE - MORNING
Humphrey quickly opens the door and rushes to Tito and Chris. Chris stumbles off the first step. Tito is stabbed in his right foot. Lieutenant Barry, Sergeant Larry and Stephen arrive and find Humphrey with the butcher knife in his right hand. Lieutenant Barry and Sergeant Larry rush quickly to Humphrey to arrest him. The ambulance arrives. The ambulance tends to Tito and Chris.
INT. HUNTER'S HOME - MORNING
Stephen rushes into Hunter's home to rescue him. The ambulance tends to Hunter.
INT. RADIO & TELEVISION - MORNING
News report goes out that Humphrey, Hunter's identical twin brother is the killer. He is the Heart Man. Hunter was stabbed in the chest, Tito in his right foot and Chris suffers severe head injury.
INT. HUMPHREY'S HOME - MORNING
Michelle Robinson, Humphrey's wife stays in shock.
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - MORNING
Mummy Robinson stays in shock and relieve at the same time.
INT. JAIL CELL - MORNING
Michelle pays Humphrey a visit in his cell.
INT. QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL - MORNING
Mummy Robinson visits her son Hunter in the hospital. Hunter lies there in critical conditions. Chris Marville's parents, Patrick Marville and Sophia Marville along with Tito Mosquito's parents, Terek Mosquito and Deborah Mosquito comes to the hospital to see their children.
Three Months Later:
INT. MUMMY ROBINSON'S HOME - MORNING
Hunter Robinson is on bed rest.
INT. MARVILLES' HOME - MORNING
Patrick and Sophia's son Chris is recovering.
INT. MOSQUITOS' HOME - MORNING
Terek and Deborah's son Tito is getting better.
INT. DODD'S PRISON - MORNING
Humphrey is charged with life in prison.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Brighter Hopes [Revised Part 2]
Kimberly Waithe, was standing at the bus stop waiting on her transportation to school. It was still early out and drew could still be seen on a plant by a nearby garden. She rechecked her bag to make sure she had all the essentials for her day and when she was satisfied, she began to over hear a conversation between two women at the bus stop.
“Yes girl! Heartman strikes again!”
“when?!”
“You ain got a Nation?! It all over de place chile! Dis body was found in Saint Andrew in a pig farm! Pigs chew up de body clean, but left de head! Unfortunately nuh body ain had no dental work fuh de man dat dem fin’”
Kimberly couldn’t help but listen in, but who were they talking about? She decided to nosey in a bit more…
“umm excuse me – Miss?..”
“yes dear?”
“I couldn’t help but hear you talking – would you be so kind as to tell me who is this “Heartman?”
“Oh! I would love to dear! But nobody knows who this man is, where he live or why de hell he doing wuh he doing?! All I gine tell you, is to keep yuh self ta yaself.”
Kimberly was in shock of what she was hearing. When she arrived at school, the same thing occurred, everyone was talking about the heart man’s latest killings. By lunch time everyone was standing or sitting around a tree with benches, and the rumour of the heartman had escalated. One boy in particular named Henderson, was in the center of the conversation, he was more pumped up than the rest of the students.
“yes man! I know what I see last week! Mr. Niles man!”
“You sure bout dis?” chimed another boy.
“I know what I see Kristopher! Mr Niles walk home that little boy from first form! And you know what happen?!”
Everyone shrugged.
“EXACTLY!” Henderson hollered.
“Dah lil boy gone missing! No body know where he is, de main see he ain days! He ain come school or nain so. An’ every time I try to ask Mr. Niles ‘bout it, he does get almost pale den! He is de heartman I telling you!”
“That is not so Henderson” Everyone turned around to see little framed Kimberly in the back of the small gathering.
“Who talking to you?!”
“I am! And you should not be going around spreading rumors about something you know nothing about!”
“shut up Kimberly! Ya poor grate shyte”
The children giggled, but Kimberly pressed on.
“I will not! Mr Niles is a nice man! And highly intelligent and a gentleman! He would never do what you said he did! But you ain know nuttin!”
Henderson stepped forward and walked up to Kimberly in that instant.
“ok then, let’s talk about something I DO know. What about what you told me about your daddy huh ? kim?”
“Don’t do it Henderson!”
“why not?, I tink everyone should about how he used to beat you bout and slam you head pon walls and frying pans – “
“shut up!”
“why?! Because you can’t cook!”
He laughed so hard he snorted. Kimberly was filled with rage and all she could do was leave an imprint on the side of his face with her palm. She turned away quickly and ran inside the class room with eyes burning. Mr Niles, who was sitting down behind his desk looked up the same time,
“Hey Kim, what happen? You ok?”
“Not really, would you mind if I stood inside today? Don’t really feel much like outside”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“No sir, I would rather read if that’s ok with you.”
He nodded and continued with what he was doing. Kimberly sank into her seat at the back of the class, trying to contain herself. She took her biology book and started to make some notes, some footsteps came up behind her and an Egyptian book on rituals was placed on her desk. She looked up to see Mr Niles smiling down on her.
“If its recreational reading you want, this is one of my favorites.”
And he went back to his desk. Kimberly then began to watch his antics as he sat there in his chair, how he moved, very poised and very intense. She got so caught up in watching him that time just slipped away and soon lunch was over.
The children came streaming in the room, filling up the seats and they started to get ready for Mr. Niles’ class. Kimberly liked the class, not only because she was smitten with her teacher, but it was because she loved Maths. Logic was her thing and almost anything in the class you threw at her, she got right.
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Mark head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim, a small framed girl with glasses, big brown eyes and corn rowed hair, down past her shoulders. The only student in the class that seemed to want to do work when it was or wasn’t given out. She carried a book of Egypt in one hand and her bag over her shoulder. There was always something that was different about her. She never flinched in class when he talked to her always got over 90% percent on her assignments - now this is student he’d have time for.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with a combination of lethal poisons. Something else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze.” Aww don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
“Yes girl! Heartman strikes again!”
“when?!”
“You ain got a Nation?! It all over de place chile! Dis body was found in Saint Andrew in a pig farm! Pigs chew up de body clean, but left de head! Unfortunately nuh body ain had no dental work fuh de man dat dem fin’”
Kimberly couldn’t help but listen in, but who were they talking about? She decided to nosey in a bit more…
“umm excuse me – Miss?..”
“yes dear?”
“I couldn’t help but hear you talking – would you be so kind as to tell me who is this “Heartman?”
“Oh! I would love to dear! But nobody knows who this man is, where he live or why de hell he doing wuh he doing?! All I gine tell you, is to keep yuh self ta yaself.”
Kimberly was in shock of what she was hearing. When she arrived at school, the same thing occurred, everyone was talking about the heart man’s latest killings. By lunch time everyone was standing or sitting around a tree with benches, and the rumour of the heartman had escalated. One boy in particular named Henderson, was in the center of the conversation, he was more pumped up than the rest of the students.
“yes man! I know what I see last week! Mr. Niles man!”
“You sure bout dis?” chimed another boy.
“I know what I see Kristopher! Mr Niles walk home that little boy from first form! And you know what happen?!”
Everyone shrugged.
“EXACTLY!” Henderson hollered.
“Dah lil boy gone missing! No body know where he is, de main see he ain days! He ain come school or nain so. An’ every time I try to ask Mr. Niles ‘bout it, he does get almost pale den! He is de heartman I telling you!”
“That is not so Henderson” Everyone turned around to see little framed Kimberly in the back of the small gathering.
“Who talking to you?!”
“I am! And you should not be going around spreading rumors about something you know nothing about!”
“shut up Kimberly! Ya poor grate shyte”
The children giggled, but Kimberly pressed on.
“I will not! Mr Niles is a nice man! And highly intelligent and a gentleman! He would never do what you said he did! But you ain know nuttin!”
Henderson stepped forward and walked up to Kimberly in that instant.
“ok then, let’s talk about something I DO know. What about what you told me about your daddy huh ? kim?”
“Don’t do it Henderson!”
“why not?, I tink everyone should about how he used to beat you bout and slam you head pon walls and frying pans – “
“shut up!”
“why?! Because you can’t cook!”
He laughed so hard he snorted. Kimberly was filled with rage and all she could do was leave an imprint on the side of his face with her palm. She turned away quickly and ran inside the class room with eyes burning. Mr Niles, who was sitting down behind his desk looked up the same time,
“Hey Kim, what happen? You ok?”
“Not really, would you mind if I stood inside today? Don’t really feel much like outside”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“No sir, I would rather read if that’s ok with you.”
He nodded and continued with what he was doing. Kimberly sank into her seat at the back of the class, trying to contain herself. She took her biology book and started to make some notes, some footsteps came up behind her and an Egyptian book on rituals was placed on her desk. She looked up to see Mr Niles smiling down on her.
“If its recreational reading you want, this is one of my favorites.”
And he went back to his desk. Kimberly then began to watch his antics as he sat there in his chair, how he moved, very poised and very intense. She got so caught up in watching him that time just slipped away and soon lunch was over.
The children came streaming in the room, filling up the seats and they started to get ready for Mr. Niles’ class. Kimberly liked the class, not only because she was smitten with her teacher, but it was because she loved Maths. Logic was her thing and almost anything in the class you threw at her, she got right.
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Mark head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim, a small framed girl with glasses, big brown eyes and corn rowed hair, down past her shoulders. The only student in the class that seemed to want to do work when it was or wasn’t given out. She carried a book of Egypt in one hand and her bag over her shoulder. There was always something that was different about her. She never flinched in class when he talked to her always got over 90% percent on her assignments - now this is student he’d have time for.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with a combination of lethal poisons. Something else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze.” Aww don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Lost Hearts of Brighter Hopes [Revised Version]
It is another seemingly normal afternoon at Bright Hopes Secondary School and the Mathematics teacher, Mr. Jeffery Niles; is finishing up the final question of his evening for his weekly extra lessons class.
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Mark head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim, a small framed girl with glasses, big brown eyes and corn rowed hair, down past her shoulders. The only student in the class that seemed to want to do work when it was or wasn’t given out. She carried a book of Egypt in one hand and her bag over her shoulder. There was always something that was different about her. She never flinched in class when he talked to her always got over 90% percent on her assignments - now this is student he’d have time for.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with a combination of lethal poisons. Something else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze.” Aww don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
"Can anyone tell me the answer to this question?"
There was no answer from the students.
"At least the first step??..."
As he tries to teach, two young men in the class are handing out papers and passing them around. Mr. Niles starts to get annoyed with the class and just before he was about to speak a sixteen year old girl, named Kimberly started to raise her hand.
"Scuse me Sir, the answer is 6798...."
There was silence for a moment as Kimberly slowly dropped her hand. Soon after Mr. Niles smiled softly and began to nod his head in approval.
"Yes.. yes that's the answer. You did a very good job Kim"
"Thank you sir!!" She almost screamed out her gladness. The boys who were passing out the papers were being even more disruptive now giggling and and pointing at Mr. Niles and making a kissing noises at Kimberly with their mouths.
Mr. Niles starts to get a little annoyed and walks around the room and snatches the piece of paper just as it was about to be passed to another person.
“And what is this?” he asks.
“Man no sir!” pleaded Henderson, who was one of the top boys in the class.
As Mr. Niles opened the note, he slowly realizes what was hideously drawn on the piece of paper. An outline of a man holding what seemed to a heart and a little boy on the ground dead. Next to man, was an arrow with the name, “Mr. Niles” at the side.
“Who drew this?!” Mr. Niles furiously turned to face the room of now shamed faced school children. No one made a peep.
“I ask you who draw dis?!”
Still, there was silence. Mr. Niles realized, that no one was going to fess up, so he did the next best thing.
“Come here boy! You gine get made an example of!” He stepped forward in one step and grabbed Henderson Yarde from the back row. Mr. Niles dragged the young man who was a little over 6ft 2 to the front of the class on his toes.
“Now, if it’s not too much trouble, would you please entertain us, by telling the class, what you were doing passing this note around?”
Henderson's shoulders began to shake from fright, suddenly, a stutter appeared –
“I-I- c-c-can-“
“Y-y-you c-c-cant what?!” Mr. Niles taunted and turned to stare Mark head on in his face.
“Wait sir! Wait! I gine tell you! I gine tell you now!” Some of the other children begged him not to say, others laughed in delight of the new found entertainment. Mr. Niles slammed his heavy hand the table and it echoed the whole room. Immediately, there was silence. He then pointed his finger at Henderson, so he could finish his story.
“Ok, sir, now don’t get ma-“
“Too late boy! And my patience running out!”
“Well, sir – y-yuh see right sir, ammm you rememba dere was talk going round bout lil children getting killed by dis man right?”
Henderson again begins to cautiously step away.
“Yes, I heard about it! It was on the calling programmes up to yesterday.”
“Well sir, y-yuh see right sir- you kinda… look… like… h-“
“Wuh is dah you say boy?!”
The bell rung just then and the boy picked up heels to the door, where he paused again and pointed his finger at Mr. Niles,
“HEARTMAN! HEARTMAN!HEARTMAN!! HEARTMAN!!!”
All the school children joined with Henderson and ran outside frantically seeing that Mr. Niles was making moves in their direction. However, Mr. Niles stopped frozen and just stood there, with hurt on his face and sat down quietly in his chair and began to pack up his things. A few moments after, there was a knock on the side door and a little girl about sixteen years old came in the room.
“Sir?.. Sir?!”
“Not now! I am not in the mood for your foolishment!” He then looked up to let the person have more of his fury, but then he saw who it was. Kim, a small framed girl with glasses, big brown eyes and corn rowed hair, down past her shoulders. The only student in the class that seemed to want to do work when it was or wasn’t given out. She carried a book of Egypt in one hand and her bag over her shoulder. There was always something that was different about her. She never flinched in class when he talked to her always got over 90% percent on her assignments - now this is student he’d have time for.
“Oh – hello dear- sorry about snapping at you, it’s been –“
“No apologies needed sir, I understand completely. Those boys are just immature.”
There was a moment of awkward silence, and Mr. Niles gently cleared his throat to urge her to explain what she wanted.
“Oh – amm sir, my dad just call me. He say he cann’ come for me and wants to know if you can walk me home this evening. Since this whole mess wid de serial killer going down he don’ want me to walk around by myself wid weirdoes about de place.”
Mr. Niles stood frozen looking at her for a long time. Kim starts to feel a little uncomfortable and tries to hurry on the conversation.
“Amm – you know what- I gine tell he sen me a taxi, don bother”
“No no no! Wait! I can do it!” he jumps up knocking some books out of his bag on to the floor and he quickly picks them up, almost trying to hide them from her. Kim rushed to his side to help him with his things and finds a very disturbing title written on one of the covers, she picks it up and reads it aloud,
“The Ancient World Occult Philosophy?”
Mr. Niles looks up paled face eyes swollen from shock and embarrassment.
“Umm- yea-.. I am doing a paper at UWI on different types of religions”
“Oh really?! That’s cool! That’s what I’m into – not the occult! The religious aspect. I’m now reading on the religions of ancient Egypt!”
She sounded excited for moment – almost too excited. Mr. Niles ushered her to the door and locked it behind them. As they began to walk out of the school yard, they began talking about different types of cultures from around the world, both ancient and modern. While doing so there was an old town hall which they passed, with an elderly choir singing a folk song called, “Yellow Bird”. Kim stopped in mid step and began singing the tune loudly. Mr. Niles was quite astonished to hear her voice, not too many youngsters knew that song, and knew it well at that! He watched her for a long time, her hips swaying under her skirt as she pretended to dance a waltz. Mr. Niles could not help himself and began to dance with her. After about a minute, Kim caught herself and what they were doing she broke the embrace and walked away at top speed! Mr. Niles had to half run to catch up to her.
“Hey Hey Hey… what’s the matter? You were doing very well.”
Kim continued walking fast with her eyes planted on the floor.
“I’m sorry sir.. I-”
“Please – “ he held her hand –
“Call me Jeffery.” He smiled reasurringly and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Well Si- Mr.- I mean JEFFERY – I am usually a very shy person.” She slowed down a bit, taking her time now.
“Yes I see that, you are a very quite girl with a vivid imagination. You’re friends must envy your smarts”
Kim let out a large sigh and stopped again on the cart road.
“But that’s just it! I don’t have any friends!”
“I’m sure that’s not -”
“Yes it is! I am awkward and lonely! And people laugh at me once they find out what I like to do. Especially the boys. Whenever I tell one that I have a crush on them, they laugh and point and call me nerd girl or poor grate. I am just destined to be alone. Just like in the song yellowbird. ‘Yellow bird, up high in banana tree. Yellow bird, you sit all alone like me.’
Her eyes begin to tear up a bit and she begins to walk away again. Mr. Niles walks up to her and gives her a hug.
“Well I didn’t laugh at you did I.”
Kim shook her head embarrassed. She could smell his cologne in his shirt and what smelt like burnt sugar. She wondered what it could be, then she remembered she watched him eating a sugar cake today at lunch while he read his book. She was becoming very fond of Mr. Niles, he seemed like a very nice person and easy to talk to – and every good dancer. They pulled away for a bit and kept walking in silence for a couple of steps, they walked through different parts of the area, houses seemed to coming one every few meters now, till they were just seeing cane fields. The sunset had almost disappeared now and crickets were slowly coming out to sing.
“Uh, Kim?”
“Yes Mr. – sorry – Jeffery -”
“Where exactly do you live? We have been walking now for miles, it’s almost dark… are you sure that we are on the right road?”
“I think so, I don’t walk on this road a lot though, my dad usually comes for me anyways.”
“So you dad comes for you, and you don’t know how to get home? – Look, Kimberly -”
Suddenly, Kim looks around frantically,
“Wait! You hear that?!”
“No. What?”
“Jeffery! De heart man!”
“Oh come now, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe in that foolishment too! There is no heart man! I should know.”
Before he could finish, Kim grabbed Mr. Niles’ hand and began to run with him down the now darken road.
“Quick! Follow me please! I know a place where we would be safe!”
The two of then ran quickly down the cart road to an old shack, with the windows boarded up. There seemed to be an amber light coming from under the door.
“What’s that light there?” Mr. Niles asked. Kim paused at the door, and looked over her shoulder and beckoned him to follow her.
“Come.”
“NO! That’s breaking an entering!”
“Well I’m going! And if you were a gentleman, you would help me. Suppose de heart man in dey?!”
“So why de ass you gine in fuh?!”
“I thought you said there was no Heartman Jeffery”
“Well there isn’t! Well what I mean is-”
Before he could finish the argument Kim was already inside. Jeffery had to follow.
When he entered, there were candles in beakers, roses and lilies all over the room. A simple bed with white sheets and a pillow. There were little jars on a shelf with some sort of organs in them. He left the door and continued to walk around in the one room shack. He then heard a click of the door and turned around swiftly to see Kim with a wirily smile on her face.
“Kim?-”
“Before you start, let me talk first. It’s very important what I have to tell you. Now firstly, I live here, in this shack. Not with anyone just me. I don’t have any parents or relatives to keep me. I go to school up the road and then I come here, my haven ok? The things in those jars, are like my collections of things I have dissected.”
Mr. Niles looked on very confused and bewildered.
“What you mean dissected?”
“Well, I tend to play doctor on some domestic animals around the place. You know cut them open and try to find out, what – makes – them – tick…”
Kim then grabbed a pair of rubber gloves from the side of the table and gently put them on, and snapped the end on to her wrist. Mr. Niles now, very shaken is wondering what was happening to him with the school girl half his age.
“Look Kim – I don’t understand this at all – and quite frankly, I’m a lil concerned with how you carrying on. Please open the door so I can-”
“Leave?!”
She screamed the word loudly.
“No No No.. You can’t be like the rest Jeffery! Please don’t be like the rest.”
“What are you going on about now?”
“The rest of men in my life – I want you to stay here with me! We could talk for hours about any and everything, you don’t treat me like a freak. And if you come, I – I won’t be alone anymore…”
“I’ve had enough of this shyte girl! Open the blasted door!! You need some help Kim. Some serious help!”
“But – but I love you! I love you Jeffery!!”
“Mr. Niles to you.”
Kim opened her eyes wide! As if being filled with a terrifying rage. She grabbed a can of aerosol that was close to the gloves on the table and began spraying wildly in his direction. Mr. Niles immediately drops to the floor, squinting and trying focus properly.
“What you do to me?!”
“Making sure you stay Jeffery. You can stay here with me, forever. Instead of me watching from a distance.”
“Huh? What?!”
Mr. Niles head was positively out of it. His head was spinning so fast, even though he was sitting still.
You have no idea how much I love you do you?. I used to watch you every day at class how you used to teach. The way you ate, who you talked to. Then I followed you to UWI one day and snuck in a lecture you had about the Occult and I got hooked! You are so intelligent and gentleman like.”
Tears start to stream down her face as she goes for a craving knife on the shelf.
“Then the news of the stupid heart man came up and everyone saying it was you! I could not take it anymore I had to do something!”
Her gaze leaves Mr. Niles’ face and follows to the jars on the shelves.
“Oh good God, Kim – you didn’t!”
“I didn’t have a choice! I saw how they treated you day in and day out! They had no right! They teased me too, so I knew what it felt like!”
“But you don’t have to kill me too!”
“Do you love me?”
“What?!”
“Wrong answer! I’m sorry Jeffery, I really am… you seemed to be a nice guy, but I guess I was wrong.”
Mr. Niles tried to stand up but whatever she gave him had him good. He could neither stand or crawl and now he was having difficulty in talking. His speech began to slur.
“Aww don’t worry MR. NILES, that spray I gave you is filled with a combination of lethal poisons. Something else I learnt from reading shit! It will eventually paralyze.” Aww don’t worry MR. NILES you have nothing to worry about, not where you are going”
She bends over him one last time and gave him gentle kiss. She could see him half awake, half asleep on the floor – it was time. She took a glass jar from the shelf, and placed it next to Mr. Niles. She placed her small fingers around the knife and began to cut into Mr. Niles, like a Christmas ham, while humming the tune to Yellow Bird. Mr. Niles screamed softly in pain for a moment, then, all was silent. Kim took his heart and etched Kim loves Jeffery on the front and placed it in the jar on the table. She dragged the body outside and dug a grave. On top she placed all the flowers on top of it. When she was done she grabbed a very girly looking book from under the bed and turned to the last page she had written on, with the face of Henderson on it. She circled it and smiled wittily. She picked up her cell phone and called Henderson’s number. The phone rang a bit, until she heard his voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi Henderson?”
“Yes?”
“This is Kim, from school?”
“Oh.. and what do you want now??”
“Umm, messy but fine. Anyways...Umm would you mind walking me home tomorrow evening? I don't know anyone else who would in class and my dad won’t be able to pick me up, he will be busy at work all evening and he doesn’t want a helpless girl like me on the road by herself…”
THE END
Treatment Of The Script
1. Mr. Jeffery Niles is finishing his evening lessons.
Late evening classroom, Children are being disruptive.
2. The children are disruptive and refuse to focus.
Children are passing around papers and making jokes.
3. He finds a note that someone has drawn of him as a serial killer.
Looks at the paper, then to the class.
4. The class runs out laughing at him.
Children grab their bags and books rushing out of the class.
5. Kimberly comes to ask him to walk her home.
The side door is opem, Kimberly is in the dorrway, watching Mr. Niles.
Shes talks to him for a bit.
6. They leave the compound and start walking through the neighborhood.
Late evening, outside the school yard, with vegtable feilds and cane ground.
A paved road with not too much traffic.
7. They both begin to talk about their interests and realize they have things in common.
*****************************
8. They past the old town hall and sing a song and dance together.
Old town hall with an all female choir.
There is a garden with flowers where Kim and Jeff are.
9. Kim confides in Mr. Niles and tells him that she is no good and boys don't like her.
Paved road late evening.
10. Jeffery reassures her that she is worth something.
Jeff holds Kim's hand and talk to her gently.
11. It gets dark and they try to make it to Kim's house.
Dusk: They walk down the deserted cart road with cane feilds.
12. Kim gets scared at a noise and think it's the heart man, they both run to a beaten down old shack.
Kim and Jeffery got into an argument.
Kim runs in a shack.
13. Kim comes out with a secret, that she is in love with Jeffery and she made this
place for them and wants them to get together.
Inside the shack, lit candles and amber light.
Bed with flowers and jar with organs.
Kim puts on gloves at the table.
14. Jeffery refuses, and thinks the girl needs help. He goes to leave but is sprayed in the face with knock out spray and he soon feels paralyzed.
Jeffery is taunted by Kim.
Ether is sprayed into Jeff's face and he is stunned.
15. Kim cries and tells him that she is sorry, but if he wont love her and give him her heart, she is going to take it.
They are both on the floor in the shack.
16. She kills Jeffery, cuts out his heart and etches their names on it.
*************************************
17. She then buries Jeffery out back behind the shack.
Outside in the cane ground, there is what seems to be little graves.
There is one that is fresh and already prepared fro someone to be buried in it.
There are shovles and tools for digging.
18. She then calls Henderson to walk her home the next evening after class.
Kim sits down on the bed with a cell phone.
She opens a book with all the men and boys that she killed.
She makes a call to Henderson
Late evening classroom, Children are being disruptive.
2. The children are disruptive and refuse to focus.
Children are passing around papers and making jokes.
3. He finds a note that someone has drawn of him as a serial killer.
Looks at the paper, then to the class.
4. The class runs out laughing at him.
Children grab their bags and books rushing out of the class.
5. Kimberly comes to ask him to walk her home.
The side door is opem, Kimberly is in the dorrway, watching Mr. Niles.
Shes talks to him for a bit.
6. They leave the compound and start walking through the neighborhood.
Late evening, outside the school yard, with vegtable feilds and cane ground.
A paved road with not too much traffic.
7. They both begin to talk about their interests and realize they have things in common.
*****************************
8. They past the old town hall and sing a song and dance together.
Old town hall with an all female choir.
There is a garden with flowers where Kim and Jeff are.
9. Kim confides in Mr. Niles and tells him that she is no good and boys don't like her.
Paved road late evening.
10. Jeffery reassures her that she is worth something.
Jeff holds Kim's hand and talk to her gently.
11. It gets dark and they try to make it to Kim's house.
Dusk: They walk down the deserted cart road with cane feilds.
12. Kim gets scared at a noise and think it's the heart man, they both run to a beaten down old shack.
Kim and Jeffery got into an argument.
Kim runs in a shack.
13. Kim comes out with a secret, that she is in love with Jeffery and she made this
place for them and wants them to get together.
Inside the shack, lit candles and amber light.
Bed with flowers and jar with organs.
Kim puts on gloves at the table.
14. Jeffery refuses, and thinks the girl needs help. He goes to leave but is sprayed in the face with knock out spray and he soon feels paralyzed.
Jeffery is taunted by Kim.
Ether is sprayed into Jeff's face and he is stunned.
15. Kim cries and tells him that she is sorry, but if he wont love her and give him her heart, she is going to take it.
They are both on the floor in the shack.
16. She kills Jeffery, cuts out his heart and etches their names on it.
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17. She then buries Jeffery out back behind the shack.
Outside in the cane ground, there is what seems to be little graves.
There is one that is fresh and already prepared fro someone to be buried in it.
There are shovles and tools for digging.
18. She then calls Henderson to walk her home the next evening after class.
Kim sits down on the bed with a cell phone.
She opens a book with all the men and boys that she killed.
She makes a call to Henderson
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